Kill that fucking sunshine.

I have been in bed since Tuesday morning and I only got out  of the room for coffee and for bath. And I've been feeding myself with chips and chocolates and films. And I hate the weather. Sunshiny all of a sudden. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. 

I never really slept and I think I'm worn out. I don't wanna go out of my cave. I just wanna stay here. Time stops here. People cannot be here. Though I really hate the maid for intervening with my faux found solace when she cleaned my room. I swear I wanted to curse out loud. 

And that's the problem with me. I'm moody. I'm moody. I'm moody. I've been moody from  the moment light penetrated my windows. And I abhor its attempt to penetrate my skin. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. And I need to calm down. Ugh. I need to calm down and think of gloomy weathers, and rain and the cold, and the dark, the moonless night. Pure blackness. And silence. Just the voices in my head. 

Calm down, calm down, calm down. 

I said I'm gonna fix my closet or study a bit to keep myself busy so I would forget the familiar contempt that's building up inside me. But here I am reading Poe. And I'm feeding it. Fuck it. Here, listen to Jim.

I'm not really in a good mood. And I'm trying to be. Darkness, please come back to me.