Thursday, January 21, 2016

Follow the White Rabbit

I am tired. I can still feel the weight of the previous year pressing against my back. I'm trying hard to be optimistic with the coming possibilities though. I still don't quite know how to go where I want to go. I keep reminding myself to do things one day at a time, but the stubborn girl that I am keeps worrying and gets restless more and more each day. Oh how wonderful it would be to just stay in bed and lock myself from the reality outside. But no, stubborn girl. No.

I feel drained, I've been trying to encourage and help the people I love, and now I just can't find the energy to move from within myself. Everything was outward and I've used up everything, nothing for me left.  I do not regret it. It just gets really hard at times. I try to let things flow inward, drown myself in things I love in hope that they will fill the void that was left. Shallow as it may seem, but it somehow works although in little intensities. I just want to scavenge energy and influence from the souls of these little things. Poor things. But I have no choice, they're the only remedy I can come up with.

In the meantime, I'll keep my fingers crossed as I go down the rabbit hole.

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